**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
