Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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