tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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