ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
