i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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