I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
