make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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