Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
now i know why i became what i already was.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
