Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
