As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
