I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
