I just pynch a tree in the face
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
whose ass print is on the piano?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
