Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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