Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
