thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
