Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
