Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
