how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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