Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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