well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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