i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
