My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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