Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
