The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
