I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
