and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
