we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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