Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
