quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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