she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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