I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
