I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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