i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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