just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
