i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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