New invention idea: vibrating tampons
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wish my penis had a tongue
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
this is an emotional support booty call
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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