No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
