I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
