found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
