We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
