I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
