Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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