i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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