just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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