Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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