Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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