Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
