you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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