Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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