As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
