So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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